Procrastination

If there is one downfall that I have, it's procrastination. I have become so good at procrastination that I have turned it into an art form. Whether it is doing my taxes, writing papers back in University, paying bills or getting gas, I leave it until the last possible second. Sometimes later than the last second.

If you've seen the Seinfeld episode "The Dealership" (did I mention before that I've seen every episode of Seinfeld a million times, give or take, and that I believe everything in life can be related to Seinfeld?) you'll remember the part where Kramer is taking Jerry's possible new car for a test drive. He specifically wants to know how far below "E" he can get the gas gage to go before it runs out of gas. That is totally me. I've always known how far below empty my gas gage can go before I absolutely have to get gas. Why do I wait this long? One reason: if it can wait until later, I wait, pure and simple. Have a ever run out of gas? Yes, a few times. Of course, the best story is when I was on my way to the gas station at the bottom of a big hill. I was driving down the hill and I had about four more blocks to go until the gas station. The car started to sputter and then stalled as I was cruising down the hill. I managed to cruise down the hill and pull into the gas station simply because I was going down a hill.

In university I became very skilled at writing papers at the last minute. I think the best that I ever did was write a 15 page paper in one day, the day that it was due. You should also keep in mind that this was an extended due date with no more extensions allowed. I had to drive the 45 minutes to campus by 5:00 pm to deliver the paper. I started the day with about three cups of coffee and started typing. By lunch time I needed two more cups of coffee. By then my fingers were typing faster than the speed of light. I got the paper done and printed just in the nick of time. I had the paper delivered by 4:55pm. I actually had five minutes to spare! Every time I got a grade back on a paper that I had rushed at the last minute, I usually had a pretty good grade. If I got a "B" I would think to myself, "Wow, that's pretty good considering how little time I actually spent on that." Of course, I would also wonder what kind of grade I would have gotten if I'd actually put some effort into it.

I think the biggest question I always ask myself is, "Why do I procrastinate so much?" I know part of it is laziness, there is no doubt about that. I think the other part is just that once I knew I could get away with something once, I kept doing it. Once I let that gas gage get below empty the first time, and I didn't run out of gas, it became acceptable in my mind to keep letting it get that low. The first time I handed in a paper a few days late to a professor and he didn't penalize me for it, I then got in the habit of always handing them in late, and later than late.

But for me, I think a big part of it is the thrill. I actually enjoy the risk of running out of gas and waiting until the last possible second to get it. I enjoy being able to say that I wrote a 15 page paper in a few hours and I got a decent grade on it. It's like a challenge that I set up for myself and I have to beat it.

Am I a little disturbed? Most definitely. Will I ever stop procrastinating? Probably not. I am better about the gas, sometimes. I do still make people nervous when they are passengers in my car. I'll see a quarter of a tank and think there is tons, while they ask me if I need to stop and get gas. If only they knew how I like to live on the edge.