Dating Life of a Single Mother

When I think back to when Rob and I first started dating, it really is a miracle that we got together at all. We met online and chatted for six months before we actually met in person. Honestly, if it wasn't for Rob not giving up, we would never have met at all. Rob was going through chemo treatment for cancer, and the "BIG C" terrified me. I was quite disappointed when he told me that he had cancer. I had been quite interested, but then decided it was best to just be friends. I consider myself the luckiest person in the world that Rob would not take no for an answer, and that he is now cancer free.

Of course, the fact that I dated at all was a bit of a feat in itself. I was a single mother from the time Elisa was first born (a whole other story to be told another time). When Elisa was first born, dating was the furthest thing from my mind. When Elisa was two and a half years old, a mom friend of mine from playgroup decided to take it upon herself to set me up.

I had never been on a blind date before. She asked if she could set me up with one of her husband's co-workers. I reluctantly agreed, and gave her my email address to pass on. Chad and I emailed each other a few times before we decided to meet. His first email was a general introduction of himself. The whole email had a bit of a form letter feel, like he'd sent this email many times before (I later discovered his profile on a dating website and his profile had the same email he had sent me, word for word). In one of my emails to him, I sent a picture of myself. He then replied with a picture of himself. I mentioned to my friend, the one who was trying to set us up, that he had sent a picture and that he was wearing a hat in the picture so I couldn't' see him very well. She then commented that when she thought about it, she didn't think she had ever seen chad without a hat on.

Anyway, after a few emails we decided to meet for dinner. This is where dating gets complicated for a single mother. Going on an actual date, is a lot more complicated than just saying yes and going. First, I must make sure that I'm able to get a babysitter. Since the only people I trusted to watch Elisa were my parents, this also involved basically asking my parents' permission to go on a date, as if I was a 16 year old girl, and not a 28 year old woman and mother.

So, after all my parents nosy, oops, I mean caring and concerned questions regarding this "blind date" I was about to venture on, they agreed to babysit. So, I then need to find something to wear other than the sweat suits and t-shirts that had become my mom uniform. I even go to an accessory store and treat myself (I never treat myself) to a new necklace to wear for the occasion.

So, it's the day of the date and I meet Chad at the restaurant like planned. When I walk him, I see him already at the table and walk over. It's when I get close that I discover why Chad always wears a hat. He's totally bald and has a huge, dark birthmark on his head resembling one similar to Mikhail Gorbachev. Now, don't get me wrong. I really am not a vain person, but let's just say that the instant attraction was definitely not there. I then decided to try to get to know him and see if we had anything in common or any kind of connection.

It definitely did not take long for us to run out of things to talk about. The only thing Chad seemed capable of talking about was sports, which might as well have been Chinese as far as I was concerned. However, I'm not sure what was worse, listening to him talk about sports, or the long, awkward silences. When I did try to fill in the long silences, the only thing I could think to talk about was Elisa, which was when I saw his eyes glaze over as if I was speaking Chinese.

After we were done eating and the check had come, there came the longest awkward silence in history. We had absolutely nothing to talk about. Then, much to my relief, Chad suggested that we call it a night. It was 7:30 pm. I think if I checked somewhere it might go down in history as the shortest date ever. Chad said that he would email me. I never heard from him again and I was not surprised.

When I got home, my parents (who were over to babysit) asked how the big date went. "Well," I replied, "I think the first clue to the answer would be the fact that I'm home by 8 pm."

As bad as my first blind date was, I didn't let that stop me. I did let my friends set me up a few more times so I could enjoy making awkward small talk over sushi or souvlaki. Eventually, I decided to try the low of all lows, the internet.

I really had my doubts about dating sites and the whole internet dating. I definitely had to fish through quite a few losers. You know a guy is a real winner when he asks you your bra size the very first time you're chatting online.

So, it really is quite lucky that I found Rob, especially considering the sea of crazies we had to wade through.